Note: This is a personal and cathartic post. Its written randomly and with no structure.

“My goal in life is to bae as good of a person my dog already thinks I am” – Unknown

Today morning, after a decade long life that filled our lives with happiness, Bushy, our pet alsatian, passed away.

Mom broke the news to me this morning, Suhas was inconsolable and Dad was his usual calm self. With Bushy being terribly sick, it was not completely unexpected or shocking. But, what hit me with full force, a good fifteen minutes after I got the news was the grief. It is a strange feeling, grief. For me, it is an intensely personal feeling. Though for a minute I felt the urge to share and express it with someone, I knew I would not be able to. For, what Bushy meant to me, is what I alone know of. All the memories of the times spent with him came back in an unstoppable rush. The time he fell from the first floor and survived with a broken tooth, those initial days when he was scared and would cry all night, the days he would be sick and eat nothing, and those precious moments when he would shower me with wet licks. It has been said before, but let me say it again – No love is more unconditional than a dog’s. He won’t care if you are angry or sad or joyous or tired, day in and day out he will always greet you with a wagging tail and a warm nuzzle. Spending time with Bushy taught me many things – patience, resolve, care – but the most important was affection.

Not just with me, but he got along famously well with everyone else in the house. He grew up to be Suhas’ playmate, Dad’s walking companion and Mom’s bodyguard. For most people with no pets, it is difficult to understand how an animal can be so dear to the family. The truth is over a period of time, he stops being just a pet and becomes an extension of the family. So, if we went out for dinner, we would also remember to pick up some rotis for Bushy. If the entire family had to be away, my Dad would call up home to check if he was fine. A packet of Marie biscuits just for him everyday. You worry about his diet, his limp, his greying whiskers. If there is a heated argument, he’ll whine and cause a distraction to cool frayed tempers. The bonds just become stronger and stronger with time.

I have not cried inconsolably and I don’t appear too distraught. But, every once in a while, it all hits me with a nasty sting of sadness that I just cannot escape. This grief of mine will take days to complete its expression. Till then, and till all the four of us are through, there won’t be any Marie biscuits in the house.

Rest in peace, my pet, my love.


2 thoughts on “Grief

  1. pawsinsd says:

    Making that decision is so difficult. I first did it for my cat in 2000. I held him until the end and afterwards. I felt a strange feeling coming over me, like his spirit. My dog and lifetime companion died in 2001 and I made the decision knowing she was in pain and bleeding out. I didn’t get the feeling, and it was lesser, until I awoke at 2 a.m. Since this post is a bit old I hope you’ve moved on and remember the good things. I know I do.

    I found you thorugh WordPress and I’m at, hosted by WordPress. Take care, Dee

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