A Smaller Man

Like a shrinking puddle
Under the hot sun,
I find myself growing,
Smaller and smaller

I am rushing through,
Throwing a casual glance
At the limping beggar,
And the howling dog

Neither a sweet word,
Nor a warm hug for ones close.
I am entwined,
Selfish and self-centered

Cynicism and Indifference,
The greens and blues.
In their vicelike grip,
I suffer and suffocate

My heart yelps in guilt,
And conscience makes itself
Aware and probing,
Yet I move away and farther.

Yes, every day, by the day
I am growing smaller

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A Smaller Man

11 thoughts on “A Smaller Man

  1. dodo says:

    if growing smaller precipitate these writings then i would definitely like to see you completely dwarved the next time we meet. Here I raise my tea wishing you a liliputian life…very good finishing ( 1st and 2nd stanza and last two lines are very good)

  2. Gyan Ahead – read at your own peril ;)

    – I guess realization is the first step towards action.
    – Once the focus shifts from the self, real joy comes, only we are not able to move the spotlight away from us – happens with one and all.
    – Some days I do a ‘egoless day’ kinda thing – where I am not going to be provoked by anyone, will help others even if they despise me and will try to let things be as they are, just observing not controlling – I find myself very peaceful on such days.
    – ‘The water-like flow of Perception’ is more important than just ‘Hard Rock Solid Logic’ not just in life for general well-being, but also in creativity & changing thinking patterns; as in a De Bono book that I am currently reading called ‘I am right you are wrong’

  3. uh oh! very terse and neatly expresssed guilt.

    Very honest and heart-felt,simple words(and structure)conveying profoud meaning. I can while reading see an image of your guilt,ego,selfishness,your looking@a beggar,your disdain@relationships as if i can all these in your eyes.

    one of the best of ur works.and thats that from a critic’s point of view.

    As a friend,oh damn…why this? and what? u r one of those nice humans i’ve met.very consistent,genuine and selfless. this must have been a fleeting thought/emotion. If it wasn’t and its still there,we must talk! :)

  4. @Shamit: Wow! Some of it was profound, like Nakul said. Do write more about it – either here or as a complete post :)

    @Sin: Oh Thanks :) Again, a poet’s critique is very flattering to receieve!

    As a friend, thanks again! Yes it had become more than a fleeting thought but when I am reminded of all the good friends I have, it vanishes. But we will talk nonetheless! :)

  5. Nakul -> Ouch, I’ll refrain, guess I went out of context … ;) Just take what made sense, leave the rest – ALL JUNK !!!
    Shreyas -> Yeah basically the book is profound, a revolution in itself.

  6. Shamit: Sorry man, when I read the ‘Water-like flow of Perception’ thingie, I just couldn’t resist taking a dig at it! But I guess, I should cut down my attempts at humour…

    I actually agree with points 1 and 4 made by you in your earlier comment. I don’t agree with 2 & 3 ‘cos they basically involve you trying to be someone you are not naturally meant to be – I mean, why do an ‘egoless day’ thing? If you are not egoless by nature and yet want to be, try an ‘egoless life’ kinda thing rather than do it on intermittent days. Maybe, we’ll discuss it someday… Till then, don’t refrain, keep commenting!

  7. […] As is obvious from those titles, I am suffering from an acute case of writer’s block. Well, make that a life-block. Just like how I lack content to write about, I presently lack the will to do. Do something, anything! A few weeks back I was disconcerted by this new feeling of stagnation and spluttered around like a fish out of water. Everything in life is in a state of flux (similar to what I had written here) – Work, Family, Friends, Hobbies and Entertainment. It is quite a surreal state to be in. Earlier, at all points of my life, I eagerly was working towards achieving something. Be it the exams, a good job, a story or a solution to a problem at home. Now, for some reason, there is not much to look forward to. Either that or I have chosen to not look. It sounds confusing and confused I was. I had defensive, weak debates with a close friend and cause-less, hurtful fights at home, as a result of these confusions. It is also a phase that holds very little of any of the emotions – joy, shock, fear, surprise and anger. – No typical nervousness with a group of strangers; No unsurpassed joy at getting a PS2; No curiosity to find out about current affairs; No anger at things I get angry about.   […]

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